Jokes of the Day

Posted: April 9, 2012 in coco jokes

Melissa Gilbert was suffered from a concussion on Dancing with the Stars. It’s the first time anyone connected with that show has seen stars.

The Seattle city council has just decided to classify a woman’s right to breast feed as a civil right, also a civil right: a man’s right to watch.

3 teachers have come to claim the mega-million lottery, they all said they’d remain at their jobs. They want to keep teaching kids if you work hard and study, it won’t mean crap unless you win a lottery.

According to a new study that just came out: it’s possible for women to experience a second kind of orgasm, still no word on the what the first kind is.

Pizza Hut is coming up with a pizza stuffed with hot dogs in the crust. Burger King is testing out a bacon sundae. You know when things are getting out of hands in this country when MacDonalds have become a healthy alternative.

Yahoo announced the firing of 2000 employees, in an effort to figure out what prompted the layoffs, yahoo employees spent hours googling the answer.

Recently at the White House, President Obama admitted he’s a Trekkie. Although Trekkies say he doesn’t qualify because he has a wife and a job.

Today Allegiant Airlines will start charging $35 extra if you have carry-on bags. Meanwhile, JetBlue is charging $35 extra if you want a pilot who isn’t insane.

Oprah Winfrey’s longtime boyfriend Stedman Graham has written a book about being proud of who you are. It’s not helping that the cover of the book says, “Written by Oprah Winfrey’s boyfriend.”

An investment group headed by Magic Johnson has reached a deal to buy the Los Angeles Dodgers. Magic said he won’t make any major changes other than the Dodgers will now play basketball.

A recent report shows that pot smokers get into fewer car crashers than drunk people. Then again, it’s easier to see what is coming when you’re driving at 11 miles an hour.

Since Saturday, Apple has sold 3 million iPads. So to the Chinese workers who made them — juice boxes all around. Celebrate, kids. Be happy.

In several of the Super Tuesday states, a third of the voters still believe that President Obama was born in a foreign country. These are the same people who think Super Tuesday is Superman’s birthday.

President Obama just had a physical exam. He had it today and his doctor said Obama is physically active, eats a healthy diet, and stays at a healthy weight. So now I’m really starting to doubt whether Obama was born in this country.

— Conan O’brien

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